pirate_anon

Crazily Powerful,
Super Good Looking,
Seriously Conflicted,
Brooding Killer:
Kylo Ren

In Star Wars, Kylo Ren is the grandson and adoring fan of
Darth Vader. He is a member of the First Order who tries to
destroy the heroic Jedi and the Resistance.

Draven’s Kylo bursts onto the scene in January 2018.
Seeing his relationship to Anakin, it would seem natural for his
grandfather to make a reappearance, or Trinity’s related
headmates, but no. All of that is never brought up, not even as a
coy allusion.

Trinity promptly channels Rey, the Star Wars protagonist,
and a honeymoon period ensues. She describes intense passion
and connection to Kylo, being so close they seem to read each
other’s minds, and a frenzy of sexual activity that apparently
might be disturbing to the neighbors. She describes Kylo as a
magnetic bad boy, a “crazily powerful, super good looking,
seriously conflicted, brooding killer” (citation available upon
request) and is deeply offended at the idea that anyone could
think she has lost agency or has Stockholm Syndrome.

But it isn’t all hearts and flowers. Even by Draven
standards, Kylo is intense. He “paces like a caged animal,” “rants,”
and he’s constantly bi-locating and having intense emotional
conversations.

According to Draven, Kylo also “[saves] my life” by
bringing Draven’s diabetes under control within the space of a
few months. How? By “eating more protein and salads, keeping
the water going, making sure my portion sizes are healthy, and
paying attention to my blood sugar,” along with actually taking
the diuretics Draven has supposedly been given (2018 April 20).
Draven also attributes it to the exercise: all that pacing “adds up
to miles and MILES of walking. You can actually see the track he
left in the carpet” (ibid). Plus all the sex they’re having, which
Kylo is certain can’t hurt.

Keep in mind that less than two years prior, Draven
claimed to have a spent a year in bed (2016 September 3). All
throughout their Pokèmon Go period, they used a motorized
scooter and mentioned over and over their poor mobility; even
while talking about Kylo’s exercise, they remark that they “can’t
walk any distance longer than a block without the cane,” but
Kylo just pushes through the pain (2018 April 20). And
apparently he suffers no setbacks or health problems from such
overexertion.

Contrary to popular narrative, that is not a safe way to
exercise. A system who has similar mobility issues says, “IT DOES
NOT WORK THAT WAY. […] we've still fatigued ourselves more
times than we can count by thinking Once We Got Started We'd
Be Fine [… ] and not noticing when endorphins were obscuring
the cues from our body saying STOP STOP THIS IS ENOUGH
FOR NOW” (personal communication, 2018). If someone has
been immobile and inactive for a prolonged period, they have to
be careful, starting slow and gentle. To overdo it can be
extremely dangerous. Pacing for solid miles is not a good idea.

But of course, even in their miraculous recovery from
diabetes, Draven can’t let go of the narrative that they’re dying
tragically young either. They note that “my heart and GI stuff
have started giving me more severe problems” (2018 April 20) and
remark that “hope to god this left-sided pressure and increasing
PVCs and fluid retention are NOT my heart finally starting to
crap out [...] and [that I] LIVE to make it to PortCon" (2018 April
13). Yes, even as they have so little money that they have to skip
meals, even as they might be dying, they’ve found the funds and
wherewithal to travel down to Portland to become volunteer
cosplay staff for PortCon (PortConMaine Unknown A). Not only
that, they’ve taken on the work of two panels, one about a Star
Wars card game from eleven to midnight on Thursday, and
another on prop and weapon handling the following Friday from
nine to ten AM (PortConMaine Unknown B, Draven 2018 May
1).

If Draven isn’t exaggerating about their health (unlikely),
they’re being incredibly reckless. Having paneled and tabled at
cons for years, I know from experience that they are frenzies of
activity, and any staff who become sick at the last minute causes
chaos. But Draven isn’t even scheduling enough time for a good
night’s rest in-between their shifts! Their actions are clearly not
that of someone who truly thinks they might die at any second.

But why should they? They’ve been “dying” for thirteen
years and are still doing the exact same things they were then.
Their newest blog is a carbon-copy of so many of those
before. The coming out posts, the complaints about fandom
fictionalizing their pain. They deliver the usual lies, “We have no
agenda […] no cause, no GoFundMe, no affiliation” (2018 April
8a). They insist that they “pay the rent(a week early, every
month, actually; we’ve never been late even once since we moved
here” and “we don’t think we have some sort of ‘special powers’”
(2018 April 8b). They create a secret closed Facebook group
devoted to the pairing of Rey and Kylo Ren, not divulging its
importance (2018 January). Nothing of substance has changed.

The cycle continues...