DETRANSITIONED LESBIAN WOMBYN: AUK the Doctorwhokin Spy and the Trump Wank of Rassilon

[pirate_anon]

DETRANSITIONED LESBIAN WOMBYN: AUK, the Doctorwhokin Spy, and the Trump Wank of Rassilon (January 2017 on)

AUK, called "angry parrot noises" by Panopticon, is
friends with them from roughly January to December 2016, at
which point they are admitted to a mental hospital after multiple
suicide attempts, which they attribute to Cass (2017, July 21).

In January, AUK makes a call-out post about their
experience (2017, January 23), but it's the second one from July
that goes into more detail stating, "The Gallifreyan Tradition is a
cult, and the leader of that cult Cassandra Oakdown [of
Panopticon] is an abusive person who personally contributed to
my mental health breakdown that included but was not limited
to self harm, suicidal idealization, and psychotic breaks from
reality. Cassandra is a danger to the Doctor Who kin community
and the Doctor Who fandom community at large" (2017, July 21,
paragraph 2). AUK discloses their poor mental health right off the
bat, along with an apology, because "I do not have screenshots of
any of this" (paragraph 1). They do not try to pretend they are an
absolutely reliable narrator.

Despite all of this, though, the concrete details of AUK's
statements prove more fact-checkable than the cult claims about
Secretgal. For instance, AUK notes that Cass is "'Lord President,'
[of the Gallifreyan Tradition Society,] a title that even the Doctor
himself in canon shunned. They hijack fandom posts to try and
recruit members. They encourage their members to cyberbully –
I was unfortunately part of one of those attacks" (ibid., paragraph
18).

All of these things are provably true. The Toast of Rassilon
and Secretgal harassment campaigns corroborate the
cyberbullying part of AUK's story. As for Lord President,
Panopticon claims that they were democratically elected to the
title (2017, July 22), but the fact is, as a founder, they created the
title; it's disingenuous to act as though the name was foisted upon
them. It's also easy enough to fnd Panopticon recruiting for the
Gallifreyan Tradition Society via fandom; they attempt to do it
on the Gallifrey Rising Facebook group by becoming the
Coordinator of Gallifreyan Cultural Reconstruction (Baggot, 2016
June 25), and running a couple unsuccessful AMAs on the subject
(Panopticon, 2017 November 22). Eventually the relationship
with Gallifrey Rising falls apart (Gallifreyan Tradition Society,
Unknown Date A, Paragraph 2), though I don't know why.

Back in the call-out post, AUK goes into more detail about
the harassment campaigns, and accepts responsibility for their
actions. They express regret and remorse, saying, "i became a
cyberbully during the discourse of rassilon based on nothing but
[Cass's] word and a list of targets" (2017 January 23, paragraph 4).
Indeed, this sounds similar to my experience with Panopticon
trying to suggest I should attack Secretgal (and later, HIY).

The "Discourse of Rassilon" is a completely separate
occurrence from the Toast of Rassilon; I'll refer to it as the Trump
Wank of Rassilon. Most of it is lost to tumblr purges, but as far as I
can see, it seems to have centered around a silly post someone
made comparing the fctional character of Rassilon to President
Trump (timelordcurse, 2016). Like the toast joke, it clearly has
nothing to do with Panopticon's system member, but Panopticon
takes it as a personal attack anyway and responds the exact same
way they did to the Toast of Rassilon. Most of the reblogs and
harassment is lost due to purges, but Isa's remains. She claims that
Rassilon isn't egotistical, he just "puts his name on everything
because he pretty much made or created everything [emphasis
hers], and unlike Trump, everything he created is functional"
(ibid.). It snowballs until Lirija, the other founder of GT, has to
wade in and say, "for those in GT who participated in the discord,
I am deeply, deeply disappointed in you. You should be ashamed
that you have wilfully [sic] attacked other people for their
opinions, and I expect you to apologise to anyone that you have
harmed, politely and sincerely. This behaviour is abhorrent, and
against our values" (Lirija, 2016 June 13, paragraph 7). Everyone
deletes their reblogs about it, and the original poster deletes their
account, leaving context and apologies lost to the ether (though
surely not the hurt feelings and bewilderment).

Even though AUK's exact behavior is now lost to the
sands of tumblr time, and even though they could probably get
away with pretending it never happened, they still take
responsibility for them. "I became [Cass's] willing weapon in the
[Trump Wank] cyberbulling [sic] incident. I take full
responsibility for attacking those innocent people. If it’s any
consolation, I cut my attack short because the guilt overwhelmed
me as I realized that they were innocent people who just enjoyed
the same media as I did" (2017, July 21, paragraph 21).

This statement is corroborated by Panopticon themselves;
they eagerly slough responsibility for the whole Trump Wank of
Rassilon thing to AUK (Panopticon, 2017 February 2, paragraph
7), saying, "Yeah, I was the one who told [AUK] to send the Bee
Movie script and lolcats memes to people on the 'opposing side'
of the [Trump Wank] Discourse of Rassilon. I admit that I fucked
up there. But I never would have even thought of that plan if he
hadn’t suggested it." As proof of AUK's wrongdoing, they post a
screencap of AUK bringing it up (ibid). But like with their "proof"
of Secretgal, Panopticon's screen-cap doesn't prove what they
think it does; the very frst sentence of any substance shows AUK
stating, "Would utilizing the block button be of any use? That's
usually what I do when someone bothers me." So even as
Panopticon tries to pin the blame on AUK, they admit to ignoring
that frst advice!

Meanwhile, back in their call-out post, AUK goes on to
talk about the infamous "Analog Theory," which in Panopticon's
own words is, "our very own Weird Shit Phase, AKA that one
time we almost did become a cult. Basically, in the early days,
some of us original members [namely, Panopticon] decided that
we were obviously this world’s version of the founders of Time
Lord society, and that we were going to be the ones to lead the
Intuitive Revolution, v2.0" (2017, September 11, fnal paragraph).

What is the Intuitive Revolution? Apparently in Doctor
Who, it was the name for when Rassilon, Omega, and the
forgotten "Other" overthrew the matriarchal Pythia, the original
ruler of Gallifrey. Rassilon then took over the planet and
apparently made Gallifrey a "society based on rationality and a
republic with an elected President, although a caste system
remains" (Unknown name, Unknown Date B, paragraph 5).

Panopticon has a Rassilon, and according to AUK, Cass "supposed
that I was a match for a Patron who was called the Other" (2017,
July 21, paragraph 19); I'm not clear who Omega is/was. As for the
Pythia, at the time of the call-out post, Panopticon is claiming
that the Pythia is their own system member, Sophia Lamb, a "cult
leader" (2018, April 8) who wishes to "restart the Rapture Family
[a Bioshock cult] 2.0, which she clearly stated she has every
intention of doing. Seriously, it's taking the combined strength of
[Cass], SV [Signless, possibly], and [Rassilon] Prydonius to restrain
her from doing so" (2017, September 22). So it's quite possible that
all of this is a dramatization of Panopticon's in-system conflicts,
given cosmic signifcance. AUK says that "I seem to be mocked for
ever believing it [Analog Theory] seriously now although
Cassandra was entirely serious" (2017, July 21, paragraph 19).

Indeed, in their supposed "debunking" of AUK's post,
Panopticon claims that "most people stopped taking Analog
Theory seriously M O N T H S ago," thereby corroborating that
yes, it did exist and people did believe it, quite recently (2017,
February 2, paragraph 6 under the screen-cap). Also, they're lying
about it no longer being a thing; ex-followers tell me that
Panopticon still believes it, and just a week prior to AUK's July
2017 call-out post, Cass states, "I wish the Analog Theory was
actually a successful thing" (2017, July 16). Cass is acting as though
AUK went rogue and believed something truly outlandish, when
the fact is, they originated the theory, supported it, and still
personally believe it, to the point they're still willing to call their
headmate, Sofa Lamb, the Pythia almost a year later. One could
argue that Cass wouldn't let their personal beliefs influence their
rule over the Gallifreyan Tradition Society, except it's very clear
that they do. And the fact that they publicly admit to having
almost formed a cult, to having a cult leader in their system, and
that said cult leader is taking a huge amount of effort to control...
all of that is concerning. And yet, Panopticon seems to resent the
slightest implication that these facts might mean anything or
imply anything dubious about their behavior.

Back to AUK: "I remember that [Cass] belittled any
mentioning of my own abuse at home. I remember one specifc
instance where I made a post where I said something along the
lines of, 'I feel like I can’t say I have an abusive family because it’s
never escalated into physical violence,' and [they] commented
'Some people have it so easy'" (2017, July 21, paragraph 26). Cass
admits to doing this too, but dismisses it as "a claim I made
literally two months after I met you and didn’t even KNOW that
your family was as abusive as it was" as though that magically
makes it okay (2017, February 2, paragraph 27). Also note that
they never actually say they're sorry.

Eventually, AUK attempts suicide multiple times and ends
up hospitalized. They say, "the day i was admitted to a treatment
facility, december 15th 2016, i was planning to swallow an entire
bottle of asprin [sic] because i couldn’t live with the guilt of
'hurting' cass anymore" (2017, January 23, four paragraphs from
the bottom). Cass of Panopticon quotes that part in their own
"debunking" (2017, February 2), and then co-opts AUK's own
suicide attempt to claim they were going to attempt the same
thing: "you know what, for a while I couldn’t live with the guilt
of hurting you anymore either, AUK. I was going to down a
bottle of pills too. Thankfully, Isa talked me down– if it weren’t
for her, I don’t think I would have survived past the middle of
January" (ibid, eight paragraphs from bottom).

They never bring up this supposed suicide attempt ever
again as far as I know, nor does Isa. Indeed, when explaining this
whole mess to me months later, the only example that Cass
provides of the abuse AUK enacted on them during their
friendship is "the damage he did to my circadian rhythm, among
other things" (2017, August 27b). They do, however, reafrm that
AUK's suicide attempts are real, reframing them as manipulation
attempts: "The tipping point came when we came back from a
therapy session to see him liveblogging his suicide plans to us
over Skype. At this point, I told him to go check himself into a
hospital" (ibid). That would seem the natural point to add, "And I
was on the verge of needing it myself," but they never do.

AUK ends their call-out post with, "I frmly believe that
the Gallifreyan Tradition is a danger to all Doctor Who fctionkin
and that Cassandra Oakdown is the worst danger of the entire
group. [...] Thank you for reading, and thank you if you believe
me" (2017, July 21, four paragraphs from the bottom).

Panopticon rushes to defend themselves, but their
attempts to debunk AUK's claims mostly ends up corroborating
them. They admit to taking part in the ridiculous fght over
Rassilon and Trump, belittling AUK's experiences with an abusive
family, creating Analog Theory, introducing AUK to it, and that
AUK attempted suicide and had to be hospitalized. Not only
that, they never properly apologize for any of it. Instead, they
frame it as innocent errors, all the while acting as though AUK is
equally at fault, if not more so. "Telling AUK about the Analog
Theory? That was a mistake. I’ll admit that," they say, (2017,
February 2, eight paragraphs below screen-cap) or, "In the
beginning, my excitement over meeting you may have led me to
make some bad choices in regards to my treatment of you" (2017,
February 2, second paragraph from bottom). They only give
specifcs because AUK forces the matter, preferring vagueness.
After all, "bad choices in regards to my treatment of you" sounds
better than, "I told you were lucky to have your abusive family
because they weren't as bad as mine, and I tried to persuade you
that I was Rassilon's emissary on earth." Cass even justifes their
response at AUK's family situation, stating, "I ENVIED YOU [...] I
guess this was just as much of a mistake, wasnt [sic] it" (ibid,
paragraph 22 after screen-cap). Not hurtful, not cruel, just a
mistake, like buying lettuce instead of cabbage.

"The relationship we had, whether it was in the form of
friendship or rivalry, was never a healthy one for either of us,"
Panopticon says (ibid, fnal paragraph). "It wasn’t all my fault, but
it wasn’t all yours either. Neither of us deserves to be punished
for it– people get into mutually unhealthy and unstable
relationships all the time, it’s inevitable that a person will get into
one at some point in their life. I think that the healthiest thing to
do right now is for us to leave each other alone. It’s time to end
this vicious cycle before it eats us both alive."

I would argue that no, it is not inevitable that every
person will get into a relationship that causes them to attempt
suicide multiple times. But it doesn't matter, because it's clear
Cass doesn't truly believe any of this either. They certainly don't
leave AUK alone, and they never express sentiments that AUK
isn't completely at fault ever again.

Neither AUK's call-out post nor Cass's defense make
Panopticon or their followers look good, and massive damage
control ensues. Panopticon resigns as Lord President of the
Gallifreyan Tradition Society, and they make some limp gestures
at apology... but to GT, not AUK. "I’ve made mistakes, and those
mistakes have continued to hold us back," Cass writes (2017, July
23). "I have a history of overstepping boundaries where other
Gallifreyans are concerned, in the name of 'reuniting my people.'
For this, I am sorry. The fact that I want to create a common
Gallifreyan culture and a united Gallifreyan community are not
bad things in and of themselves, but the fact that I have often
pushed these goals onto people who do not want them is
inexcusable. I have harmed those close to me in my overzealous
pursuit of this goal, through the Analog Theory. [...] Rather than
the benevolent philosopher-ruler that I know my Patron to be, I
began to embody the warlike, tyrannical portrayal of Rassilon
that is often seen in canon. [...] I would like to apologize to those
that I have hurt."

All of this might sound nice, but it's so vague as to be
useless. Who, exactly, have they hurt? In what way? Cass doesn't
mention AUK at all, never mind what happened; a reader could
be forgiven for thinking that Cass was just a little preachy, not
staging harassment campaigns and getting followers hospitalized.
But even so, Cass lets slip bits and pieces of what happened-- that
yes, they pursued the Analog theory, yes they became a tyrant,
and yes, they have hurt people and tried to proselytize to folks
who didn't want to join the group. But it's fne, Cass is stepping
down, HIY will become president now (ibid), and all problems
will be solved.

An outsider can be forgiven for thinking that Panopticon
is truly abdicating power, but ex-followers assure me that Cass
remains the true power behind the group. Even the symbolic
giving up of their title has no teeth; they merely become
Chancellor, which as far as I understand is basically vice president
(Gallifreyan Tradition Society, Unknown Date A).

AUK starts talking about their experiences in the new
Doctor Who tumblr created by the doctorwhokinfessions mod
(doctorwhokin, 2017 July 22). The mod, probably remembering
Panopticon's behavior during the Toast of Rassilon, takes AUK's
side and blocks Panopticon from the tumblr. But that doesn't stop
Panopticon; Rassilon goes anonymously to say his piece anyway:
"Have you ever considered, dear DWkin [Doctor Who
fctionkin] community, that while you waste your time indulging
in fantasies of persecution, the Gallifreyan Tradition's members
are trying to live out their lives in peace? Your obsession with
them is a meme, not a threat. They do not hate you-- they think
you are adorable" (doctorwhokin, 2017 August 22a).

No need to take my word for it that this anonymous is
Rassilon. Cass of Panopticon publicly admits to him doing it:
"Someone (not naming names, but it was defnitely R. Prydonius)
got our IP blocked from [doctorwhokin] on Tumblr" and they
quote one of the mod's responses (Panopticon, 2017 August 22).
Cass then lets slip an admittance to yet more creepy behavior
regarding AUK: "if they think that trying to help someone
become a better person is abuse, I guess AUK's right about me
being the abuser in that situation, because I was dumb enough to
think that I could change him." Change them into what kind of
better person? For what purpose? They only take refuge in
vagueness.

The doctorwhokin mod blocks Panopticon's IP address
and moves on, but that still doesn't stop Panopticon or their
followers. As AUK refuses to be silenced and continues to tell
their story, Panopticon only becomes more aggressive. In the
doctorwhokin mod's own words: "AUK was in
https://drwhokinnet.tumblr.com/ [now deleted] which the mods
are also on as well as a bunch of Doctor Who Kin. This discord
contains channels for venting and AUK used these to talk about
his experiences with the GT. It later came out one of the members
is part of the GT and was sharing AUK’s venting with them. [...]
AUK has already left as he doesn’t trust anyone in that group
(fair) and there’s no point in us all pointing fngers"
(doctorwhokin, 2017 August 22b). Yes, Panopticon's group, who
"are trying to live out their lives in peace" choose to infltrate a
completely unrelated tumblr and Discord, purely for the purpose
of pursuing AUK and causing them fear and distress.

But who is the infltrator? Accusations float around HIY,
but it turns out no: instead, a different GT member named Narvin
comes forward to publicly announce that they are the spy, or the
spy's handler, on September 26, 2017 (a, b, c, and d).
Conveniently, they fall on their sword and insist Panopticon had
no part in it (b): "the spy was my idea, and my idea alone. Not
Cass’, not HIY’s, mine. I was acting rogue with a spy because I felt
hurt by all the cult accusations which are blatantly untrue, and
actually quite cruel given the fact that our founder is a cult
survivor."

Personally, I fnd this hard to believe, seeing how many
times Panopticon incites people to do their dirty work for them.
But let's take Narvin at their word for now and focus on the cult
survivor rhetoric. This is a claim Panopticon makes again and
again, that they've been through cult abuse, and so accusing them
or any of their groups of cultishness is nothing but a personal
attack "because [AUK] knew that after what [Cass]'d been
through, that would hurt them the most" (Panopticon, 2017
September 11).

First of all, even if Panopticon's claims of being a cult
survivor are true, they are irrelevant. Being a victim and being a
perpetrator are not mutually exclusive categories. Also, there is
no quibbling to be made; Panopticon is cultish. They as much as
admit it in their "debunking" of AUK. If they truly cared about
not following in cult leaders' footsteps, wouldn't they take the
accusations seriously and change their behavior? But they don't.
Instead, they behave like a stereotypical cult leader, trying to
smash any and all criticism, stalking people across multiple
platforms for years, evading bans and blocks, never truly
apologizing. They get to use their own abuse history as a shield,
but nobody else does. Cut away the distortions, the distracting
discussions of past abuse, and what Narvin is actually admitting is
that even if Panopticon was supposedly ignorant of what was
happening, Narvin created the spying campaign on Panopticon's
behalf because calling them a cult leader was mean, and
Panopticon's circle supported it, either tacitly or actively.

True to form, once caught and facing public disapproval,
Cass grudgingly coughs up a mealy-mouthed pseudo-apology,
where they admit they were part of the spying operation, but still
not responsible: "I apologize on behalf of my people for allowing
the DW Kin Net spying operations to go on as long as they did, or
at all. You all deserve a safe space away from us as much as we
deserve one away from you. [...] I believe that the best course of
action is for the two communities to have an ofcial policy of
minimum-to-no contact, rather than letting the rivalry and
hatred continue as it has" (2017 October 15, post #8).

Note that this is almost exactly the same thing Cass said
about AUK a mere four months prior. Obviously Panopticon
never stopped pursuing or attacking AUK throughout that entire
period. Now suddenly everyone is supposed to believe that
Panopticon will now? Let's sum up what the parties have done so
far.

Doctorwhokin/doctorwhokinfessions has: made jokes
about Rassilon stealing toast, joked about toast for six months, let
AUK speak, and banned Panopticon by screen-name and IP
address.

AUK has: spoken about their personal experiences with
Panopticon and refused to be silenced.

Panopticon has: harassed, mocked, and badgered
doctorwhokinfessions for almost an entire year, distorted toast
jokes into an ableist spiritual harassment campaign, block-evaded
to harass AUK in turn, and set a spy on the group to defame AUK
to the point that AUK fled the community. Then, when caught,
they say, "Okay, we've both made mistakes, how about we leave
each other alone now?" And then they repeat the process.

Now, who needs the safe space? Panopticon, or AUK and
doctorwhokin? And of course, within a year, the dreaming-of
-the-second-sun tumblr is purged and deleted, so the apology may
as well have never existed. In contrast, AUK leaves their call-out
posts, their apologies, and their messy admissions of their
mistakes for all to see; they even expressly state, "this blog will
not be deactivated because certain posts of mine are some of the
only googleable testimony to the abuse of the Gallifreyan
Tradition Society" (citation available upon request).

Perhaps realizing that openly citing AUK's words or claims
leads only to corroborating them, Panopticon mostly retreats into
vagueness after this. They refer to AUK only as "angry parrot
noises," and flatten their words into misleading generalisms.
Rather than discuss abusive families, suicide, or Analog Theory,
they reduce all of AUK's claims to, in Cass's words, “GT is totally a
fancult because I got friendzoned by their former president”
(2017 July 22, June 18). Which has only the slightest grain of
truth; AUK openly admits that yes, they had a crush on Cass, but
it is only one short paragraph of thirty-three, less than 4% of their
post by word count. AUK's focus isn't on the crush; it's on their
sense of reality being distorted, verbal and emotional abuse,
being induced to suicide. But Panopticon has nothing to gain
from engaging with those claims, so they stick with their straw
man version of AUK, always referring to them as either an "an
incel-type" or "DETRANSITIONED LESBIAN WOMBYN who
[...] thinks I manipulated her into identifying as a trans man so I
could have an excuse not to fuck her mental illness away" (2017,
September 11). When someone informs Cass they're misgendering
AUK, they respond derisively, "Oh so she’s a detransitioned
womyn now instead of an incel. Good to know she’s gone from
one disagreeable subculture to another" (2018, May 16a).

Misgendering Cass became part of the narrative of the
doctorwhokin spying ring, to the point that Narvin only agrees
to halt the spying operations because "the server as a whole has
apologized for their misgendering of Cass" (2017, September 26).
It's acceptable for Cass to do it to AUK, but if AUK or someone on
a server does it to Cass, the whole community must suffer and
pay for it. And while Cass gets to use their mental illnesses as an
excuse for the Toast of Rassilon, AUK's mental illnesses just gets
to be the mean-spirited butt of a joke.

Panopticon claims to be a "leader of LGBT+ inclusive
pagan group" (2017, August 17), but it's clear how conditional
that inclusion is. Does Panopticon only respect someone's gender,
pronouns, or disabilities as long as they're friends? It would seem
that the answer is yes.

Despite their early gestures at claiming equal fault in the
relationship with AUK, Panopticon nowadays never lets go of the
narrative that AUK is the abuser, not them, that AUK is the one
pursuing and harassing them. Even as late as a year and a half
after AUK's initial call-out post, Panopticon claims that AUK is
sending them anonymous harassment asks (2018, May 16b), an
accusation that AUK denies (2018, June 21). But Panopticon still
doesn't block AUK until a day later, and only "at the advice of my
Council" (2018, May 17)! (And they still allow anonymous asks
until deleting the account a few months later.) If AUK is truly
that awful, able to make Cass want to commit suicide... why give
them that access? Why wait a year and a half to block one's
abuser?

Because except for PR damage, Panopticon isn't afraid of
AUK. AUK is afraid of them, and justifably so! AUK does
everything in their power to avoid Panopticon. They flee
doctorwhokin and drwhokinnet, and barely post on tumblr for a
year (2017, August 23). They seem to have blocked Panopticon
and all the Gallifreyan Tradition Society instantly. Their
statements are congruent with their actions, which is that of
someone trying to avoid their abuser while still telling their story.

But for the sake of argument, let's say that AUK did abuse
Panopticon. How is setting a spy on them or mocking AUK's
gender going to protect anybody? How is Rassilon anonymously
ban-evading so he can call AUK "adorable" and "indulging in
fantasies of persecution" meant to help? AUK's posts, however
imperfect, are clearly trying to help protect people; they are
warnings made by a flawed, scared person. But Panopticon's
discussions of AUK are all theatre. They claim that AUK is
stalking them, abusing them, only making these posts to hurt
them, but it seems obvious that in actuality, Panopticon is the one
doing those things.

And just like the Trump Wank of Rassilon, Panopticon
deletes their apology, along with the rest of the dreaming-of-the
-second-sun tumblr, and continue on, pretending that they are the
true victims. But it doesn't take them long to fnd a new enemy.